Welcome Pessimistic Phillies Fans*

I was 13 years old the last time the Philadelphia Phillies won a World Series. The next day the Sisters of St. Joseph were generous enough to let us make signs and walk up and down our block of Broad St. un-ironically singing Queen songs. It was a crisp October morning, we were World Champions, I was about to leave the confines of parochial education forever, and the future looked pretty good.

One month later Ronald Reagan was elected president.

The Phillies haven’t won a World Series since. I saw my city plunge into an abyss of despair and self-loathing. I saw our other teams come really, really close. There was even an NBA Championship in ‘83. But nothing else. We lost World Series’, Super Bowls, NBA and NHL Championships. Philadelphia isn’t about losing; it’s about having the rug pulled out from under you at the very last moment.

I live in San Francisco now, but as any of my friends will tell you, Philadelphians have an indelible stain on their souls; a distrust that anything is final until it’s actually final. Not only do we not count our chickens before they’re hatched, we’re convinced someone is about to steal our eggs. Probably family.

So as I sit here 5 hours away from a World Series victory, with our best pitcher on the mound, and 8 days from a Presidential Election, with the best candidate I’ve seen in my lifetime holding a big lead, I am utterly convinced that both will go wrong. I can’t help it.

Andrea Seabrook explored the inner psyche of what makes Philadelphians so pessimistic yesterday on All Things Considered. She even gave us a shout-out because of our “I’m Not Angry, I’m From Philly” t-shirt. The piece aired when we were up 2 games to one and you can hear how nervous the interviewees are. I can only imagine that after last night’s win they’re absolutely catatonic.

Why can’t us? Because we’re from Philadelphia.

And for the love of all that’s holy; PLEASE remember to vote next week. Unless you’re from western Pennsylvania; we were always right never to trust them.

UPDATE: Game 5 was suspended due to rain, taking our best pitcher out. God hates us. This is the best proof yet.

UPDATE: Wow. We did it! We REALLY did it.

* real fans spell it Phans.

Written by Mike Monteiro on October 27, 2008 |